I have a cellular regeneration and entertainment chamber. It's specially designed to transmit biogenic energy on a chromoelectric wavelength and send uplifting and entertaining messages to the nuclei of every cell. I'm going to live forever:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_IyWFwXw0E

That is, as long as the soulless minions of orthodoxy don't find a way to stop me.