For your specific counting problem you can use relative line numbering which shows line numbers relative to your cursor.

However the larger attempt and redo problem you highlighed is mitigated in a modal editor that does selection first (not vim) instead of action so you get a preview of what you will delete before hitting it, you can also expand it.

I did give up vim for the same reasons, but I am happy with Helix.

I won’t deny that I still make lots of errors, I still use vscode for other features like folder search and replace, easier diff comparisons