I should be a able to put a few drops of each of my bodily fluids into a set of disposable receptacles or strips and it should be able to test for hundreds of thousands of issues initially and millions of issues in the future. A pocket fictional Dr. House so to speak. This would distribute the testing workload to the people at home or work and give doctors something better to start with than only perceived symptoms and would allow prioritizing patients during triage. It should find everything from the obvious emergencies to the most obscure anomalies that could be addressed at a later time. It should also be able to tell me what to start or stop eating.
There should also be a high-risk-accepted mode where the device can make guesses about what is occurring based on all the data it gathered even if it does not have 100% of the scientific data to do so. All this in a sub $1000 device I can buy online without a prescription. This device must not have any way to leak patient data. Connect it to a printer via USB and it just makes a hard copy to hand to a doctor or they could just read this device with their eyeballs. No cell phone required. No wifi or bluetooth. No dial home. No uploading to LLM's. No cloud. Patients can download an updated OS and firmware image for updated medical data and update using a thumb-drive or micro-SD.