"But the distribution is bimodal here because the massive upside is countered by a massive downside: You need to evade detection. Will you hide in the bathroom? Pretend you ordered the same thing? Eat it at your desk? Either way, you need to be prepared."
Pro health tip: Don't eat where you perform waste removal functions.
Until.
Until the "cool intern" noticed food outside a conference room shortly after noon and posted it on the free food channel. Hordes of people came by to avail themselves of the food, leaving a horrified meeting organizer to fight them off while trying to post a rebuttal on slack saying that the food was NOT, in fact, available for the taking, the attendees hadn't had a lunch break yet, pleading with people to stop taking their food, etc.
Perhaps they should have used Discord instead
If you eat your co-worker's sandwich twice, however... may satan take you
How did you not know to not eat someone else's food before your first job?
... no, it's clearly a joke.