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I've had the opposite problem: both of my parents' (in their 80s) fingerprints have faded to the point that Touch ID no longer works reliably.

That is really interesting to me. I admittedly haven't played with it in a while but on previous Android phones I've had basically any patch of skin would register and work okay with the sensor. I know because I used to rock climb a lot which tears up fingerprints so I would register things like the backside of my index finger so I could unlock the phone while it sits on a table. It was definitely finickier than a proper fingerprint but preferable to retraining it every couple of days.

Specifically the swipe-up gestures you now need for the unlock / home navigations?

(I initially thought you might mean faceid doesn't work if you're a bit shaky, but I just tried that and it surprisingly doesn't care.)

FWIW: Face ID is optional, and the iOS passcode buttons are very accessible.

> Face ID is optional

Meanwhile, the Settings app keeps begging me to "Finish Setting Up Your iPhone".