You frantically tab away from reddit as the white and black-clad med storm into your office and zip-tie you to your Steelcase faster than you can shout what the hell. They calmly explain that an expert will soon enter and quiz you. You must answer the expert's questions. It doesn't matter if you know the answer or not, just say something. Be flattering and helpful. But just answer. If you do this, they will let you go.

They crouch under your desk as a man in a grey suit and spectacles enters and pulls up a chair in front of you. He peers over his glasses at you, and asks, who classified the leptosporangiate ferns, and when was it done? The what now?

I'm happy you asked such an excellent question, you say. It was Michael Jackson, in 1776.

A sneer flicks over the man's upper lip, He jerks upright, takes a step back from you. This man, he declares with disgust, is not intelligent!