What's funny is that the exec I got on the phone was super supportive and helpful and was genuinely amused to hear from me and hear what was happening. He put me in touch with their "Executive Support Team" and it was after this that I guess someone realized they didn't like the route I had taken.

I feel somewhat vindicated after this announcement (though it does nothing to bring my account back):

https://www.engadget.com/cybersecurity/cfpb-fines-block-175m...

> Accessing any kind of customer service for Cash App was a challenge, too, according to the CFPB. Block included a customer service number on Cash App cards and in the app's Terms of Service, but calling it would it ultimately lead users to "a pre-recorded message directing consumers to contact customer support through the app."