Nintendo Please Make a Switch Phone

Interesting ask to a company that won't add a better GPU than a shitty Tegra mobile GPU that was years outdated by the Switch launch, that couldn't even run their flagship game (BOTW) at 30 FPS consistently, because they were so obsessed with the $299 pricepoint, is going to add cellular components to the Switch.

Remember when the Switch refresh a few years ago, everyone was speculating they'd get a better GPU. And all they got was an OLED screen. Heaven forbid we saw a $329 or $349 price point.

Unironically, appealing to Valve for a Steam Phone seems far more likely.

There's a case that "phonishness" has hobbled the industry and what we need is less phones. Insofar as parents buy a Switch for their kids, parents might rather give their kids a device which can't be used to watch TikTok videos and Instagram channels promoting eating disorders or to browse online pornography, for example. In terms of gaming, mobile games are the bulk of the industry in terms of revenue, but many of us feel that "gatcha" games are exploitative of users and a step backwards for the industry.

It also could limit their market. If the Switch 2 was a phone, a person who already has a phone might feel like they don't want to give up iOS for Android or the large investment they already have in a phone, switch carriers, etc. For that matter, carriers are going to want some input into any device you sell on their network which would mean fighting off efforts to install 10 bad Verizon-branded apps, wanting a cut of any games you sell, etc.

If it's an additive thing it is still fighting for space in your ADC [1] but it's not competing directly for your phone, the app store of which is a cesspool of exploitative mobile games.

The Playstation Vita had a cellular modem option which was little used. Plans for it were expensive and had low performance and low data caps. Most of us were pretty happy with WiFi, which is uncapped and lets you install games that are a few GB in size without excessive wait or worry.

[1] Average Daily Carry

Yeah so when you download retroarch Shuntaro Furukawa can track your location and come take you away