Ask HN: How do you influence a group where there's a lot of big talkers? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How do you influence a group where there's a lot of big talkers?

2 pointsdiminium4 comments

You want to organize your group to do something. There's 15 people in this group - each with equal voting power. Three of them are loud big talkers who sound utterly confident in their ideas except the ideas they have are very bad. The rest of the group seem to be ready to choose them to lead.

Your a quiet talker who likes verifying an idea to see if there's a chance it will work. Nobody is paying attention to you and the three loud talkers are always interrupting you.

Most of the other members of the group are just those who'll follow whoever is in charge but they get to choose who is in charge.

What do you do?

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Noone gets to the top of the tree by sitting in the corner & waiting for things to happen.

If you want to be the #1 then as soon as they mention a bad idea, immediately suggest reasons why & if you can't think of a bad reason, select the weakest point of the idea and heavily focus on it.

Once you have done this, they will probably try and act smart and say "what's your big idea then?" then you have your time to convince everyone & as soon as any of the 'loud talkers' interrupt, don't let them by speaking louder and keep going they'll shut up and as soon as they do, rework parts of what you said whilst they were speaking gibberish back into your speech by saying "as I mentioned earlier but was interrupted by person X, Y and Z alongside..." and carry on speaking.

Seriously, you can either sit in a corner or you can come out fighting so to speak, assert your authority and take the top spot.

With the amount of information you provided, I will not assume to know the exact answer, however, I do have a few questions that can perhaps point you toward the right direction:

1) Have you brought this specific issue up in a meeting where everyone is present? Not alluding to it, but specifically bringing it up (for instance): "I feel that there's a serious issue that may impede our team's success, here's where I think the issue is..."

2) You described the loud/big talkers (LBTs) as very confident in their idea and others might buy it--are you the only one who feel that way? Have you talk to the other team members individually?

3) Have you talked to the LBTs individually?

4) Why do you think the LBTs are always interrupting you? Are you being precise when you talk? Do you bring data that backs up what you say? Do you talk very slowly?

5) Do you ever get good results with a 15-people brainstorming session?

6) Do you feel like you have to be with this group? Is moving on an option?

There are 2 books I really like: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck and Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, William L. Ury and Bruce Patton

Perhaps you might find the reading to be helpful to you as well.

Good luck and be happy,

-V.

15 people sounds like too many. I had enough trouble leading a group of 6-ish people that I eventually gave up on them/the project. Now I'm working on that same project (and a few others) with only one other person. It's much easier to deal with and our visions seem much more feasible. We're not immediately shooting for the biggest and bestest thing out there.

Like VuongN said, I would bring it up next time you meet. People will see you as much more of a leader if you take the initiative to call out these three big talkers and can systematically go through their ideas and explain to the group why they're bad.

If that doesn't work, it might sound harsh, but I would either find a new group entirely, or take a look at the 15 people in your group and at least cut it in half. Drop the people who contribute the least. It sounds like if you guys are still brainstorming ideas, it'll be easiest to do all this now, instead of waiting and potentially having to deal with NDA's and whatnot. Especially if the people who get cut are bitter.

find a new team. haters gon hate

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