TikTok app unavailable on Apple, Google stores in US

What's the matter, America? I thought you didn't want sideloading, because that is an evil scourge from Europe that has no tangible benefits or uses to an ordinary user. All of the sudden you wish you could choose which apps you can install without the direct mandate of a higher power...

Nah, I'm just pulling your legs. Tim Cook will fix this any day now, because he's a liberal and that means he will always do the right thing in business. He'll bravely stand up to Donald Trump and fight for information freedom and privacy because that's what he believes in, right guys? R-right guys?