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This presumes that proto-bees had stingers that killed them before being super organisms

I don’t know where you got that. It seems perfectly plausible that the stingers evolved in the superorganism, and that the selective pressure was something like “drones protect the hive via stingers which kill them” versus “drones can’t sting at all”.

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This is a different argument, one which I can agree with. I was specifically saying that the argument for how a species acquired a universal trait can't be "because it didn't hurt their fitness that much", you have to have positive pressure for a trait to spread to the entire species (or it must be a trait left over from an ancestor where it had these pressures).

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