Great great write-up! I would personally recommend meetups. I have found them to be a great way to be social and meet new people. And one thing that makes it nice is that there's no expectation of becoming life long friends -- being able to have a conversation with a stranger, sharing your life and learning about theirs, is grossly underrated. It is stressful to take that first step -- the first ones I went to, I was basically nautious the entire day leading up to it :P but after you do a few, it gets easier quickly. (Although I will note I don't have a family, so have more time for stuff like this!)
No guarantee you'll find someone at the exact level as you, but you might at least find someone in a similar spot who can relate and provide useful insights!