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Comment by gadders | Hacker News Reader

That's quite a story, Quinzel. I'm glad you're in a better place now, and I wish you all the best for you and your child.

Have you thought of mentoring or speaking to young people from a background similar to yourself? I think hearing your story will help them realise that making a better life for themselves is not beyond them.

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Thanks for your comment. I haven’t really considered it for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I don’t think my story is remarkable enough, and nor do I have a platform to really do that and have any solid impact. Secondly, I think my overall outcome still hinged largely upon luck, rather than hard work alone. Yes I had to work hard to get my degree’s and get through the training for my job, but some of it was still lucky. For example, the social housing I was placed in was in a very affluent community where people drove BMW’s, Merc’s and Porsches, all owned their own nice homes and were lawyers, doctors, accountants and IT professionals, and diplomats, and where I was there were only a few social houses in the neighbourhood rather than being in a neighbourhood that was all social housing with a litany of social issues. So the people I was surrounded by were affluent, crime was low, the people I interacted with were not plagued by social issues and that became my new frame of reference for what a normal life is, and what people aspire to achieve. So by luck, I was moved into a different social context and environment that encouraged more pro social and socially acceptable ways of living. Secondly, I was lucky with my job, I just happened to have studied a degree that was relevant, for a position that was one of the last few in the medical field that did apprenticeship style training which was paid for by the government rather than me having to pay for it. By having a degree I had a slight advantaged over other people (my hard work paying off), I cut my training time in half and was guaranteed a job at the end. That doesn’t happen anymore, you have to have a degree and pay for all your training yourself. Thats how timing and luck played a part. I also think, perhaps I was lucky to be born with a slightly higher than average IQ as well and it all culminated in me being able to experience a slightly upward shift in social status. I don’t think it’s inspirational and motivational at all.

I think you do yourself a disservice. Luck always plays a part but for this piece:

>> So the people I was surrounded by were affluent, crime was low, the people I interacted with were not plagued by social issues and that became my new frame of reference for what a normal life is, and what people aspire to achieve.

You can be that new frame of reference for people from less fortunate backgrounds. "I was once like you, but by luck I got moved to an affluent area and this is what I learnt..."

Maybe in 10 years time somebody will be telling their colleagues how lucky they were to hear your story :-)

And yes, IQ is a factor as well, but not everyone can be a brain surgeon or a CEO but a lot of people can aim a bit higher and raise their expectations for what "people like them" can achieve.

I started a group at my employer to help people from lower socio-economic backgrounds get into my industry, and it has honestly been one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. My upbringing wasn't as disordered as yours, but I grew up on state benefits and was the first person in my family to go to university.

Here's a secret you don't often hear;

Luck plays a part in everyone's story.

"Luck" of course being defined as right place, right time etc.

But "luck" is happening all the time, to everyone. What really matters of course is how you react to the opportunity.

In your case, at some point, you were lucky enough to get back into college. But ultimately that means nothing. What matters is how uou grasped that opportunity.

I would encourage you to tell your story. Perhaps reach out to social workers you met along the way.

The goal is not to tell people how lucky you were. Or to provide them a blue-print for life. But rather to say that opportunities happen - but recognizing them is important, responding to them is important.

You can't control the Luck. But you can control what you do with it.

I found your story inspiring. Not that it was "special" but because every person has a unique story to tell, and because it shows that you forged a path "making your own luck".

In other words, yes life happens around us. Yes life is unfair I all respects all the time. My journey is not your journey. But ultimately we still control much of the path. We can choose to move forward. We can set goals and work towards them. We can seek out new opportunities.

So yes, I think your story is inspiring. Not necessarily to everyone. But if there's one person who needs to hear it, to give them hope for the future, it's worth telling.

Now, isn't that person lucky I was here to write thus comment to you today? :)

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