Microsoft confirms performance-based job cuts across departments

And by low performance they mean:

1. Your risk averse PHB didn't take a liking to your jokes about his haircut.

2. You deviated from some arbitrary metrics that allow your boss to pretend to know if you're working (higher metrics = better job!)

3. You made an "anonymous" suggestion to use Linux as a desktop OS in the early 2000s.

4. You were under a "PIP" because your boss had a quota of PIPs to roll out, and now he has a quota of people to terminate. Tag, you're it.

5. Upper management thinks it needs "hardcore" employees like Musk does, except unlike Musk they're not gonna answer the phone at 3am on Sunday, sleep under a desk, or work 80+ hrs if they don't have to. And they don't.

6. Morale is low, so terminations will continue until morale improves.

> “When people are not performing, we take the appropriate action,” a Microsoft spokesperson said in an email, confirming the job cuts.

Time to make the taskbar moveable. And add some more svchost.exe processes in the process. /s

TBH, this explains the silly bugs in Windows like double clicks on a single click of the mouse, or the scroll wheel not working properly. No bugs -> no performance -> termination.