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Comment by Dalewyn | Hacker News Reader

Reading books, playing games, watching anime, conversations on IRC or Discord with long time friends, making stuff in the figurative garage that will never see the light of day...

The list goes on.

And that's besides life's necessities like work, chores around the house, cooking+eating...

The list goes on.

There's just so many god damn things I could or should be doing instead of marriage. I literally do not have the time and thus interest in marriage and all the things related to it. And no, the termination of my bloodline or what happens to my crap after my passing doesn't concern me.

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Cool. Power to you. My take on things: I love being married, because I’m always with my best friend, and we’re partners to make all the “life’s necessities” much easier. Cooking+cleaning is a shared experience and not one persons job. Financial burdens lessen as a couple. Sometimes groceries just show up magically. And I always have someone to talk to. We also have different sleep schedules. I’m up early and either hack on a side project or go to the gym. Late at night she watches what she likes without needing to negotiate with my tastes.

I have several friends that would write EXACTLY what you wrote and there is absolutely nothing wrong with your way of life.

termination of the bloodline is a silly thing - however I can tell you from personal experience that having an offspring connects to humanity like nothing else and I feel for you that you won’t experience that part of human existence. it is a remarkable experience…

> I feel for you that you won’t experience that part of human existence

Certainly it's something my depression holds over my head every day. Everything I do is less fun when I consciously realize I'm removing my ancestors from the gene pool in participating in those things. It's like I can choose to put more value in other things besides offspring, but also... I can't? When it seems like every stranger around me is married and/or has children?

When I feel myself backed into a corner and only perceive the choice to call that decision sour grapes, I feel like something has gone seriously wrong...

Interesting. Women used to feel this pressure, wanting success and a career, but also wanting family and children. They looked at men with envy, thinking that men did get to have it all. But men are feeling that same tension.

I think it basically comes down to being finite. We want more than we can get. We have to choose, and we don't want to, because choosing means giving up something that we really want.

I suspect that your depression doesn't make it easier. But the overall struggle is a very common one.

>me? find a gal? nope siree. i simply have too many video games to play and anime to watch! this wolf rides solo. at the end of the day i simply couldnt imagine myself with a sweet little missus in my arms... honestly, i retch at the thought! id much rather hotglue my hatsune miku figurine

trust me brother, the day will come when video games, anime, and surrogate friendships get boring. the copes and distractions dont last forever.

But what's the solution?

It's not as if these men have willing marriageable women queueing up at their door.

They have not chosen to forego marriage and family in pursuit of these pointless nihilistic hedonistic hobbies. They seek comfort in them because marriage and family are unattainable.

> And that's besides life's necessities like work, chores around the house, cooking+eating...

Life’s necessities are about more pleasant with someone by your side.

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