Does it have an in-frame modal that pops up immediately after page load to beg me for my email address?

What about an embedded video window that covers the bottom 2/3rds of the content and follows with scroll?

Oh and I hope you've not left out the absolutely mandatory "Read More" button that spawns a user interaction and auto-plays everything on the page.

Those are all of my favourite things on the web and I really enjoy seeing them all over the place!!