Thank you for your valuable input.

I’m keenly aware of attention value and try my best not to reinforce bad behaviour. But if he’s doing something truly dangerous I cannot ignore that. I understand that even that can be dealt with differently, e.g. in a calm and non reactive manner or get upset (reaction). I mostly try to stay calm, but of course it’s not always possible. My spouse on the other hand just doesn’t get it and always reacts which I know is a huge problem.

Advise on therapy is also good and something I was considering. Just don’t really know where to start I guess. If you have any actionable advice here would be great.

Thank you.