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Comment by timoth3y | Hacker News Reader

Most of the things mentioned in the article result in making friends as an adult being different than making friends as a child, but not necessarily harder. I'm in my late 50s and continue to make new friends.

I think the larger problem is that many approach friendship with the wrong expectations. As Zig Ziglar said.

"If you going out trying to find a friend, friends are scarce. If you go out trying to be a friend, friends are everywhere."

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>"If you going out trying to find a friend, friends are scarce. If you go out trying to be a friend, friends are everywhere."

My brain solidified late, in my late 30s, but it did eventually solidify and when it did something like a switch or circuit breaker flipped and I came to this conclusion

I'm going to pretend that I came to it independently.

I have more, closer, friends in my 40s than I did at any time in my life previously.

I don't even know how it happened, I think that I just stopped caring about any potential for embarrassment and I learned that a good conversation is equal parts statements and questions.

I also have more and better friends at 25 then I had when I was 10 or 15 or 17.

One of the reasons, I think, is, being able to choose your friends. In schools, I was forced to see the same group of people every day, for years.

Some of the friends I have now, in my 50's, are due to them proactively reaching out to me to get together. Had it not been for them making the effort, our friendship, likely, would've never materialized. When meeting new people with whom I think there might be potential for friendship, I now try to be the one who reaches out and suggest meeting up.

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