that sounds tedious af and still prone to error, i'd rather literally pay someone to handle all of this for me, let's say, some kind of institution which specializes in storing and handling money
The problem with crypto is that every problem requires additional layers of complication which each have their own failure modes which then need to be further addressed. And the complication itself adds yet more ways to breed failure.
This is the fundamental challenge with a system where any mistake or error results in the instantaneous and irrevocable loss of unbounded funds.