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Comment by Dalewyn | Hacker News Reader

I'm 35, I consider myself old. Why? Objectively speaking, I simply can't do what I could during my 10s and 20s anymore. It's a fundamental change from becoming able to do more things as I got older, now I can do less things as I get older and that's sad.

Anecdotally speaking, I'm just tired of nearly everything and I have nothing I could call life aspirations or dreams. I'm satisfied if I get through another day in peace.

Some people are young until the moment they croak, some are old from the moment they gain real awareness and agency, but most people cruise from young to old on a biological slide.

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Please don't take this in bad faith but unless you're struggling with health related issues these limitations seem rather self imposed. Your second paragraph makes it sound like it's mental rather than physical, have you considered a mentor or life coach?

>these limitations seem rather self imposed.

Simply put, aging is a bitch.

I can't pull all-nighters or concentrate as hard as I could in my youth anymore, among many other things, and I'm more or less constantly exhausted simply due to the fierce but uncaring passage of time.

>mental rather than physical

No doubt it's more mental than physical, but it all comes down to aging one way or another. There's less wonder in life the more I experience; I'm just tired and the only explanation is I'm old, full stop. Most people are more young at 35 than I am, but I'm not one of them.

All nighters are usually the result of poorly set expectations or poor planning. Give yourself some grace and set reasonable expectations for yourself. You just sound burned out, not old. At your age, you need to give yourself some time to figure out, and recover, from whatever is going on in your life, not blame the passage of time.

It’s none of my business, but I say this out of hoping to help: you’re almost perfectly describing depression. You are depressed. I’ve been there, and still deal with it, but it can be helped with a variety of methods. I hope you will talk to a doctor or someone else about it. As an aside, I was surprised when someone told me I was depressed because I didn’t fit the model of depression that I had imagined. It turns out there are various degrees, and “low grade” depression sucks the energy and joy out of life. I wish I had discovered all of the above at the young age of 35 - life could have been better. Good luck.

I think you're trying to read too much between the lines.

When I say I'm tired, I mean literally so. I have lots of joys in life even if it's not as wonderous anymore; lots of things I want to do. The problem is I don't have nearly enough energy nor time for them anymore as I get older. I have more responsibilities (things that need doing) as I get older and my body simply isn't as lively as when I was younger.

And that is only going to get even worse as time passes.

Aging is a bitch.

What more responsibilities do you have?

(For context, I'm 40 and feel old too. My partner died after a short and nasty illness, which was difficult in itself, and I was left to care for our then two years old kid. I only have one responsibility, but it's more than enough...)

Work, living, house chores, social obligations, basically being a functioning and self-sufficient adult member of society.

Ah, I'm sure you could cut half of that if you wanted to.

how do you work? or do you get financial support? i could not hold a job if i had to take care of kids without a partner.

I only started working again recently and work very little. I was earning quite well before, and I'm very thrifty. I guess few are better prepared for disasters than me ;)

I know I’m just some rando on the Internet and my tiny view of a small slice of your life is not much to go on, but I’m still betting on some low level depression, or some sort of endocrine system thing. 35 is close to the prime of life. I remember being very busy with kids at that age and tired, but I wouldn’t have described things like you have. Aging IS a bitch, but I’m concerned that you feel that way already. Wait till you hit your 50’s :( Anyway, I’ll shut up and wish you all the best. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

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