Hidden Government Scanners Will Instantly Know Everything About You

This scanner seems really Gee Whiz to me. It will measure the size of your genitals in just picoseconds! And the DHS will know, and laugh at you while you're in line waiting for the Nude-a-tron.

Such a device would mean the end of the Drug War once and for all. Just about no method of smuggling would work. Any number of other crimes would also be next to impossible. I just don't buy a miracle machine like that, especially one with so few indicators on the front panel.