"Imagine you are in a rubber raft, you are surrounded by sharks, and the raft just sprung a massive leak - what do you do?". The answer, of course, is to stop imagining.

Most people on the "just use bash scripts and duct tape" side of things assume that you really don't need these features, that your customers are ok with downtime and generally that the project that you are working on is just your personal cat photo catalog anyway and don't need such features. So, stop pretending that you need anything at all and get a job at the local grocery store.

The bottom line is there are use cases, that involve real customers, with real money that do need to scale, do need uptime guarantees, do require diverse deployment environments, etc.