Lonely people are weird because there's no social feedback loop, a lot of teachings are "self-taught" (for example how not to be an asshole), and even in engineering there's a "different" way self-taught engineers think

For a lot people this lack of a feedback loop started as children. In the worst cases, where there's child hood abuse and neglect, any seeking out of positive feedbacks either goes unheard or punished

The feedback loop reinforces itself in the short-term because being lonely and staying in the "hell you know" is better than dealing with the social failure, which might "prove" you don't belong in society and it will never change

Breaking the negative feedback loop is the hardest thing to do especially being born into it