You can be the kid who stayed on the farm or the kid who left the farm for the big city, but you can't be both. You can be the kid who spends half the year on the farm and half in the city, or the kid who went to the big city for twenty years before returning to the farm, but those are different things.
We all only get one life to live. All we can do is try to pick a good path and enjoy the stories from people who picked different paths. A person who picks a hybrid path doesn't get to fully enjoy either path, but they do get to enjoy some of each, and they get to be the storyteller who tells the city kids about the farm and the farm kids about the city.
I think you're missing the point entirely.
There are many different cultures in the US. Some are more similar than others. There is a Chinese culture in the US - as someone not part of it I'm content to call it one, but I'm sure those in it know of differences that I cannot see.
Eventually most people figure things out and make the most of it in adulthood, but it definitely makes for teenage/young adult identity crises that monocultural people don’t have to deal with.
The former group has more issues fitting in, while the latter seem to be just fine. Certainly plenty of people in Europe speak more than one language natively and don’t feel like they lack a home. And it’s not like there is an actual country where only deaf people exist. So the idea of avoiding bilingualism seems totally absurd to me, especially when probably the majority of the world has some level of bilingualism by default.
I will add that most people do not understand how divided the Deaf Community is about Coclear Implants. Least of all what you hear is not like what we would hear. It sounds like a robotic voice.
https://journals.sagepub.com/stoken/rbtfl/3WBTL0klZP48Y/full
I'm not sure anyone can say better or worse, in a useful fashion, objectively - more options can also lead to more ambiguity and stress, as with anything in life.
They're not wrong to say that by necessity, your experience is going to be different if it's defined in terms of choices made before you had agency, that are not mutable - your lived experiences are going to be very different if you cannot hear at all, and spent 10000 hours or w/e framing everything in your life around that, versus being able to hear.
Unfortunately, I think absent something else, this will go the same way as most narratives of cultures where there are utilitarian reasons to not remain in it - people will often choose the route of most visible potential benefit, in these situations.
Something more "ideal", in theory, would be if we could ignore critical periods, and just let people choose in adulthood to learn verbal language, but even that presents the problem that the majority dictates the "easy" option, and by nature, people who are not in that group will sometimes be the ones acting as sandpaper on rough edges in that interaction, as they're not as well-polished. (Look at all the government systems in the US that don't know how to handle more than the common "firstname lastname", for example.) So even that option presents the problems of utilitarian optimization resulting in rational actors just opting out of the more demanding route.
e: Just to be clear, I'm not trying to say I think any of what I just described is "good" - I think homogeneity in human experience deprives everyone of enrichment in the variation of life. But I don't see a way to optimize for this where given the ability, a lot of people don't choose the lower-friction route in their lives.
Yes, this has been the problem. Many in the Deaf Community do not see being deaf as "bad", but that is the label society has put on them.