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Comment by _qjno | Hacker News Reader

Thankyou all for your help.

It is becoming clear to me that this is way above my pay grade.

I understand that my non-professional help may even make things worse.

He has agreed to let me visit him in hospital today before he is discharged, but I fear he is not yet in a position to see things clearly for himself.

I will likely have to move.

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If they've had a previous episode and have lived with you for 5 years without incident it sounds like they are able to successfully manage whatever underlying issues they have, with the exception of this acute episode.

> I will likely have to move.

Much higher probability then the week before but I wouldn't rush to judgement. You don't want to be a live-in care taker but maybe this crisis was just a manageable bump in the road. Although, don't expect them to be completely back to baseline when they are discharged.

Personally I think OP should move. A housemate relationship isn't a marriage, you don't need to stick with your housemate through thick and thin, and you need a safe home to rest and recover in. Sometimes people going through psychosis can do very strange and unpredictable things; not only is it stressful but it can become dangerous. I'm not saying it will, but at least taking the step of not living with the person seems prudent.

If the situation remains in crisis I completely agree, I just think that may be a premature decision because the roommate has been successfully managing their issues and leading a normal life the last 5-10+ years.

To me there doesn't seem to be much downside. Moving can already be difficult and stressful, but if things get worse or continue to be bad OP will have to deal with that while dealing with the accumulated stress. If things are better for a short period that may be OP's ticket to have some breathing room and get out. If OP does move out, they can still remain friends and have a good relationship. People move all the time for all kinds of reasons.

Don't sugar coat it, he would basically be ending the relationship. It will also force the roommate to figure out a new living situation on top of all the other things: Working on stabilizing, Hospital Bills, Job Loss, dealing with shame/stigma in their friend group. This is part of why these things snowball downward in a positive feedback loop.

If it's going to be a chronic ongoing issue, I agree that OP should move out.

Yeah, the finance thing is what bothers me thinking about OP moving out. I hope his family can help him because if he’s visibly mentally unwell, poor guy is gonna have a hard time finding a new flatmate. It’s just a sad situation and I feel for both of these people.

Disagree. This could get dangerous in a heartbeat.

Please give us an update here if you can! Stand strong.

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