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It's the sharks that have the lasers

Oh, sure, like dolphins can’t be patriots too

Dolphins are trained for command and specialist roles; they aren't mere laser-wielding grunts like sharks.

I hate it when some nerd on HN snipes me on aquatic animal military roles

You just have to drug them first.

Duh, how do think I’m so successful romantically? Syrettes in the dashboard at all times.