I think it might help to focus on staying grounded and regulating your emotions, especially when it comes to thinking about Patrick and his success. While it’s natural to admire someone who has built an impressive company and achieved significant financial success, remember that people are often respected for being authentic and secure in who they are, rather than for how much they admire others.

I think a good approach would be to consider asking for adjustments to your work hours or talking with your team lead about creating a plan to make your work environment feel more manageable. It might also be helpful to discuss with a therapist why Patrick’s success affects you so strongly. Understanding the root of this could help you focus more on your own growth and well-being.

The challenges you experienced at Stripe aren’t unique to that company. These same lessons are likely to come up in future roles if they’re left unaddressed. You have the choice to face these issues now or later, but life has a way of bringing them back until they’re fully understood and resolved. Taking proactive steps now can set you up for a healthier, more resilient future in your career and beyond.