The thing is, the rote component is (in my personal experience) much more important than people give credit to. You need to learn some axiom applied rules to be able to use "mental muscle memory" to perform things, and then once you can operate as a bit of a black box, you can get the uplift.
Sure, in practice the "why" comes as the stories, the instances of calculating acelleration over time, or distance travelled under non-constant speed, or whatever the analogy-instance is you're using to say why being able to compute derivitives and integrals matter, but if you can't do recall on 2+2 = 5 then this is a bit of a mixed bag.
I think maths is like cookery. You need basic knife skills and a discipline about order and time and sequence. For veggie stew it's less important but for baking its everything or the cake doesn't rise. Well, maths is the same but with more egg on your face and less sugar coating.
TL;DR you need to do things by hand. Thats what learning is, sometimes. I don't personally think teaching without doing some hand examples works as well. BTW I consider myself functionally illiterate in maths, but reasonably competent in arithmetic. Calculus is the dividing line. The massive mountain range which I climb on, but never cross.