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Rotate the phone to landscape mode, and then into portrait. The address and tab bars should be displayed on the change to portrait.

That's a very good idea! Thanks! I will use this approach next time I encounter something like this!

is this the first documented time "you are holding it wrong" is literally and technically true?

Put it into reader mode as soon as the page loads, before the pop-up spawns.

It also crashes my Chrome tab on Android.

Switch to the "Tabs" tab and kill it?