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Comment by Aeolun | Hacker News Reader

Do bigger houses make parenting easier, do bigger backyards? I’m inclined towards a large communual yard (a park, if you will) being many times more efficient at keeping them busy, especially if you have a single child.

Lugging your children around on public transit builds character that chauffeuring them around in a car does not. They’ll be exposed to a variety of people and situations they’d otherwise never experience.

Similar thing for the weather. I don’t want my children to grow up thinking that any kind of weather limits their options if a car is not available.

I realize my opinions might be different if I were living in a US city, just wanted to give a different perspective.

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The other great thing about public transport is you don't have to "lug" / "chauffer" them at all after about 8 or so (what age makes sense depends on area and the kid of course). They can exercise some independence.

Maybe that's true in small, peaceful countries like Denmark, but in the US children "excersising some independence" would likely be kidnapped, raped or killed.

Are you sure that's true? How do you know?

How much does it depend on where in the US you are?

This has never been significantly true, and becomes less true every year.

The probability that any given child will be kidnapped or otherwise threatened by a stranger is minuscule compared to the chance that they will be abused, kidnapped, or killed by a family member.

People don't like to think about this harsh reality. Stranger danger is much easier for them to accept.

It's a low probability, high impact event in a country with limited public access to affordable health care and very limited access to therapists.

By that thinking, looking at the data, you should prevent kids from seeing their family… Understand the nonsense? But nonsense gets often commonsensical when everyone in your circle believes it. Going outside has more benefits than risks. Like biking, yes you are at risk of accident, but in the average you’ll be fitter and live longer.

>> in the average you’ll be fitter and live longer

That's sort of the point about low probability events though, it doesn't affect the average but it has a significant impact on the individual.

The US has much better access to mental health care than any European country. Not to mention everyone who lives in a walkable city there lives in a state where healthcare access is good.

That is simply not true.

Do Lyft/Uber not grant the same independence?

> Lugging your children around on public transit builds character that chauffeuring them around in a car does not

I'm talking about ages 0 to 3 when parents need to use a stroller. It's a huge pain to do this in public transit. It's easier when the kids are older but if you have more than one child the car still wins.

Both my kids were born in Berlin (now 6 & 8 years old) and we never owned a car. In some ways transit is even easier with a stroller as you can just roll into the subway/train instead of having the disassemble the stroller and put it into the trunk. Buses require a bit more effort to board with a stroller but newer busses allow the driver to lower them near the curb to make boarding with stroller easier. We’ve done that for the entire time our kids used strollers.

I'd bet good money on your life being overall easier in a less dense city and two cars. But yes, you can do it and people have raised kids without cars for millenia.

Life in a less dense city itself would be different (fewer career opportunities - despite remote work, less cultural opportunities, etc). Also kids become more independent earlier so we won't have to drive them everywhere as teens etc.

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