Am I the only one that never uses suspend/resume? If I'll be away from my laptop, I save everything and shut it down. If something is running, I plug it in and lock the screen.
Just over a month ago, https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41442490 was posted. I went into the BIOS, changed the "sleep mode" to "Linux" (at least ThinkPads still consider this), and... in sleep mode, I lost about 2-3% of battery overnight. Tops. I still hibernate for most situations, as I don't use the laptop much, but when I know I'm going to be using it often, it's nothing, and it works the way things were supposed to.
I only use suspend/sleep because it's much faster to get back to what I was doing. If I shutdown I have to open everything again and some things (Fusion 360 for example) take a good 30-60 seconds to open the program and documents and be in a usable state.
I do let it sleep when plugged in but that's just sleep not suspend/hibernate. So on my desk at home it's usually just a mouse wiggle to resume where I left off. But when I shut down it's a shut down.
I don't know why people say it's some kind of deal breaker neccessity. I have it available and don't use it.
For other stuff, if you always have the same set of programs open and always put them in the same place, your window manager should restore that for you after a reboot on UNIX. It's been two decades since I used X frequently but even back then window managers could pin apps to fixed screen positions. On Windows default positioning has often been a bit less predictable, but there are custom window managers there too if you really want it. In any case the default window manager has plenty of keyboard shortcuts to very quickly open and arrange apps how you want them.
My work laptop boots to logon before I even get the charger, mouse and monitor plugged in, and after typing my password I'm back with my browser and IDE running, VPN connected, WSL up etc in less than a minute, usually while still mid smalltalk/greetings with my colleagues.
With the move to cloud-saved everything and the expectation of users that all their data should always be synced across all their devices, you need to go out of your way to find and/or configure apps to not automatically persist settings and state these days. For some apps I make that decision deliberately because I don't trust the middle man (e.g. bookmarks and tab sync) but that's a personal choice I make to forgo convenience for privacy. If the FreeBSD (or Linux) desktop experience is not doing this kind of stuff out of the box, then I think that's one of the first things it could do to meet the expectations of people coming from Windows/Android.
From my perspective suspend/restore is perhaps fine if your laptop never leaves the office, but I usually find myself more annoyed than delighted when it kicks in by accident. Your battery life starts to hinge on literally the efficacy of your laptop's physical hinge, which if you bash your computer around a lot during commute is less dependable than an on/off switch. And nothing worse than having your back suddenly get hot because your laptop decided to wake up while you're cycling in multi-lane traffic, especially if your morning schedule has you in meetings instead of charging at your desk.
I also have historically (and still) had major issues with suspend/resume when a discrete GPU is involved or some other hardware device that linux can't resume properly, I always end up having to just reboot anyways which defeats the purpose.