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Azure is the only major (or even minor) cloud provider refusing to build an S3 API. Strange to me, because Azure Cosmos DB supports Mongo and Cassandra at the API level, for example, so idk what is so offensive to them about S3 becoming the standard HTTP API for object storage.

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It's because S3 api is quite a fair bit worse than what they offer. They define their guarantees for storage products way more clearly than other clouds, and for blob storage, from my understanding, their model is better than S3.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worse_is_better

The alternative take is that trying to have a party on your remote island is objectively a bad party because no one else will come

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