Free tier cloudflare caching basically does the same, host your dns on cloudflare, turn CDN on for a record, and whatever users request from that IP gets cached statically, distributed across and served by Cloudflare’s global cdn.
For more interactive database heavy applications like ecommerce you can go deeper with opcode and object caching, but none of it is that complicated. There are plenty of managed solutions that do all of this for you.
What's crazy is your wilful ignorance of _why_ WP is so popular. One important reason is that it allows writers to avoid people like you, who hold them in disdain without even the slightest attempt to understand their needs.
I think I understand why WP is so popular; it optimises for the editing experience and for the vast majority of situations this is fine; building the website is cheaper and quicker, and the audience doesn't really care about a 200ms lag on rendering.
My confusion (and I never described this as anything but confusion, so I don't understand your reference to me hating users) is that in a process where we can do better, and use tech that is more appropriate, faster, etc, there is still a preference for WP. Even when the people involved don't have to deal with it. Is it just familiarity, or control, or what? If we have the chance of optimising for the reader's experience, I would think that that would be a huge plus, but apparently not. This is confusing, and a little annoying.
If you believe that this was an attack against you rather than the position that you yourself have laid out in these comments, it's time for some self-reflection.
Your commentary drips with disdain for the people you're ostensibly serving and it's as obvious to them as it is here.
Even in this comment, you don't care to examine why some people have a preference for WordPress, because you believe there's a better option. Truly the behaviour of the stereotypical arrogant developer.