I was expecting an elitist diatribe about PHP (because this is perennially popular amongst particular programmers) but that's not what this post is intended to be.
Interestingly Jeff does take the usual potshots at PHP almost like he thinks he'll lose street cred if he doesn't but the basic message I agree with: if you want someone to stop doing something you consider undesirable give them better alternatives.
That being said, I simply disagree with the premise. PHP has a lot going for it:
1. The CGI type model of creating everything, servicing an HTTP request and tearing everything down is a powerful one (and used in Python, Ruby and elsewhere). Once you go stateful (eg Java servlets) you have to worry about resource leakage;
2. PHP has a stateless core of API functions. IMHO this is basically ideal for Web programming given (1). It makes startup/teardown cheap and reduces resource usage (making it cheaper to provide for hosting);
3. Imperative programming is IMHO a natural fit for Web programming. One thing that's wrong with PHP is all the bloated OO mega-frameworks people create on top of it to try and make it Java, Rails, whatever; and
4. Inline code in HTML is a powerful technique. The learning curve for PHP is quite gentle.
So if you want to make a better PHP (something I'd encourage anyone to do rather than simply jumping on the PHP hating bandwagon) you should tick all the above boxes. Of course if you do this, you will probably want to fix some of the following:
- argument order consistency
- API function naming consistency
- default to HTML escaping on output
- effectively default to SQL parameter binding
- no register globals
- and so on
Side note: all of the above is well known. Pointing it out in yet another PHP hating blog post is both pointless and boring.
Jeff also asserts that PHP's popularity is sheep mentality. What nonsense. (1)-(4) above explain it far more than that, particularly the cheap hosting and inline coding.
I like to point out that 4 of the top 20 sites are built using PHP (Facebook, Yahoo, Flickr, Wikipedia) so--like it or not--it must be doing something right.
Homer (Simpson) once said "sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making other people look bad and I'm sick of making people feel good about themselves". I see a lot of that with (us) geeks but it's just so unproductive and pointless. You don't need to hate on "not X" to justify your choice of "X" (X = Python, Ruby, Lisp, Clojure, Scala, GPU type, phone type, tablet type, camera type, you get the idea).
EDIT: as far as Facebook goes, they didn't "give up" and use HipHop, they decided to have their cake and eat it too. They get the productivity benefits of programming Web pages in a "fit for purpose" language while getting most of the performance benefits of native code and they only had to give up some small subset of PHP to do it.
If you argue the subset thing is a problem try working in any C++ shop where using only a small subset of the language is de rigeur.