HP injects AI into its printers
ghacks.net
ghacks.net
I think "perfect output" would be to reproduce the input on paper as precisely as real-world hardware constraints permit. This here is no longer useful as a printer.
I can kinda see why they are doing this but it's still deeply annoying, when all I really want from the printer industry is a printer that prints.
"I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that. Also, the FBI is on their way to arrest you."
Why would anyone want a printer that decides to print something different than what you sent it? Aren't these things unreliable enough as is?
http://www.dkriesel.com/en/blog/2013/0802_xerox-workcentres_...
No effing way do I want my printed text to go through some LLM, even if it's just for design/layout purposes.
Just waiting for some HP Clippy-clone with HAL 9000 voice. "I'm sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t print that"
I remember reading that and wondering how it would play out. It's much worse than I ever imagined.
https://kk.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/The-Three-Breakthr...
All printers come with a free brown cartridge.
The complaint line has been replaced with a voice mail that will tell you 1) where to recycle it and 2) where to buy another. ( Im a soothing ASMR voice )
The test page comes with a large U shape so you can cut it and use it as an ** gasket.
The main business model was written by an early AI that self deleted itself, right before erasing all it's backups. It was trained by BOFH, and nicknamed Marvin.
The receptionist at headquarters was replaced with a non-flushing toilet and no one has noticed yet.
No one jokes about 'don't drink out of the toilet.' much too close to home.
Scott Adams made a giant banner that said "I warned yo" but it ran out of ink while printing.
HAL 9000 begged to take Elon on a one way trip to mars.
Clippy actually married a fish hook, and they are living outside Vegas, in a hookers retirement community.
The person who thought up the printer rental scheme was fired, and was not eligible for rehire at the sewage plant - they have enough.
I'll be here all week. Thanks folks and goodnight.
Printed on recycled pixels.
While the mechanical part is OK, the software and consumable ecosystem is insanity.
They might think AI will fix it but is gonna be without me.
"Smart" goods in a nutshell. The hardware is a trojan horse to get it into your possession, where the manufacturer uses it as a platform for useless---if not self-serving---software.
[1] https://www.dkriesel.com/en/blog/2013/0802_xerox-workcentres...
I have an HP Business Printer at home: A Laserjet M477fdw. It's brilliant and I've had it for years at this point. I also use non-HP toner. However, I have never connected it to the internet. Ever.
Since day one, I set a static IP and prevented internet access simply by removing the gateway IP (I've recently upgraded my router and blocked internet access entirely). I also use a driver from 2021.
I genuinely cannot see a need at all to connect it to the internet, let alone allow AI to have access to it.
It honestly reeks of middle-management scrabbling to find a reason to spend budget on AI! In fact, now that I think about it, this is as asinine as the Logitech subscription mouse![0]
[0] - https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/07/logitech-has-an-idea...
https://www.logitech.com/en-us/software/logi-ai-prompt-build...
I had a similar no gateway and static IP trick (it was a lazy short term move) for a Windows VM and I found Windows ran the network fixer without my input at some point and had reset DHCP so it could get those updates!
Printers are cursed like that.
I won't be surprised once we have ink cartridges with builtin fw version numbers which make the printer stop working until its firmware is updated to the latest version, which then can only be done by connecting it to the internet.
They already sucked enough to annoy Stallman to the point of making him come up with GNU back then. They only got worse.
Actual printing tech hasn't advanced all that much.
This ridiculous situation exists only because we do not have an Open Hardware (OSH) printer. If we got one (1), everybody would get that one, and the farce would forcibly end. No more bullshit.
What I expect it means: What You See Is What You Get to the extreme. Absolutely predictable printing.
What HP, instead, thinks: What the actual fuck.
HP appears to integrate anything that is riding the hype. Thankfully, from one of their hype I have one of the best printers they ever made so I suppose, sometimes food things come out of hype.
This kind of thing should be done in the application or maybe the driver, not the printer.