Go write up the code to connect two parties. Just A and B. A knows about B and wants to connect to B specifically, B will talk to anyone, but wants to know exactly who. It's far more than just Serve and Dial, and often you have to involve a 3rd party, or know a lot of details about self-signed certificates and the particulars of authenticating them.

If it was just Serve and Dial with the guarantees I mentioned, we would be in agreement that it was easy and a suitable default.

> "TLS is bad because it is complicated. We should replace it with something logically equivalent, but better in some way that I have not defined."

I thought I was fairly clear in saying: less complicated == better. That is the way in which it is better, that I am now defining explicitly for you. If that's controversial then that probably explains most your disagreement. The complexity has to be so low relative to other solutions that it is more likely to be used than not.