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Comment by indoordin0saur | Hacker News Reader

I'm planning on buying an engagement ring very soon and my own plan (as someone who has never done this before!) is to get a good lab grown diamond but spend more money on the metal in the ring. You can make a gem stone in a lab but until we become a Kardashev II civilization we won't be making any sufficient quantity of gold in a lab. If I buy a good loose lab grown diamond will I be able to find someone who will fit it into a high quality gold ring?

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> If I buy a good loose lab grown diamond will I be able to find someone who will fit it into a high quality gold ring?

Yes, and even better, don't design the ring by yourself. Get a nice jewelry box for the diamond, use it for the proposal, and when you open the box, say:

"Our relationship is something we're going to build together. I want your opinion on everything for the rest of my life, because you're going to be my partner. I got the diamond, but let's design the ring together, you and I, because this is too important for me to do by myself. I need your help."

They'll melt, and the ring will mean even more.

This is... not good advice.

You're supposed to know what kind of ring your soon-to-be fiancé wants ahead of time.

And they're going to want to be able to put it on their finger right away.

Do not do this unless you are extremely confident it will go over well.

Usually people want to be able to put the ring on their finger (for pictures and engagement announcements) as soon as the question is popped.

Also, the "I need your help" line falls a bit flat to me. Reads like the proposer isn't capable of completing a very important task without some handholding from the "proposee".

Lots of people are pretty into treating gems and rings as separate goods, or want grandma's diamond in a new ring. So I don't think getting them separately will be an issue. But I'd definitely consider looking up shiny precious gems on Reddit - for less money than a diamond you can really get some nicely cut and much more interesting Sapphires.

Yes pretty much any jeweler will be able to custom make a ring for you. I imagine its how the majority of engagement rings are sold, theres way too much variability in the stone and ring/setting people want for jewlers to only sell premade rings.

Also theres not much to a high quality ring and not much for you to spend money on there.

Yes, I did this with my wife, and it was a fantastic experience. She was able to design the ring exactly how she wanted, and working closely with the jeweller allowed us to ask all the right questions and get personalised advice.

You could also consider using a temporary ‘semi-set mount’ for the proposal. Then afterwards you could go to a jeweller and have them create the perfect ring to your specifications.

Now, 6 or 7 years my wife has a big birthday coming up and I’m considering a diamond pendant - when I bought the diamond for the engagement ring there was far fewer options but now there’s lots of places online. LooseGrownDiamond seems very competitive but if you find anywhere better priced I’d be interested!

> If I buy a good loose lab grown diamond will I be able to find someone who will fit it into a high quality gold ring?

I hear many jewelers are not big fans of this. It's like a customer who bought their own steak to a restaurant and asks the chefs to cook it at a discount. It's not like the jewelers don't know where to buy cheap stones online. Some jewelers are just happy to get the business, but expect others to sneer a bit.

most people taking this strategy that I know use platinum instead of gold. Most engagement rings only have ~~~$200 worth of gold on them.

Gold is more expensive than platinum.

Indeed, since 2016. Before 2016 platinum was worth more than gold, even double for a brief period in 2008.

Now gold is worth 2.5x what platinum is worth.

https://www.macrotrends.net/2541/platinum-prices-vs-gold-pri...

Do ring vendors put a higher markup on gold than platinum?

The price of gold is through the roof. Gold is ~$2500 per oz, while platinum is $950 per oz. However, most gold is 14kt (58%) or 18kt (75%) while Platinum is 90%+. That, and platinum is a heavier (technically denser is more correct?) metal, so there is more platinum in an equivalent ring, and it weighs more. The actual price on finished jewelry isn't as big as you would think.

However, "retail" jewelry stores often price things using what they call Keystone (2x markup) or even triple keystone (3x). So, a $500 piece would sell for $1000-$1500.

Jewelry stores will also come up with endless nonsense to justify high prices such as Platinum is so much harder to work with, etc.

Is it true though?

Did you mean rhodium?

Rhodium is very expensive. It's used as a coating for white gold, but actual rhodium jewelry doesn't really exist.

I would ask your soon-to-be wife whether she'd be ok with a lab grown diamond vs a natural (and let her come to her own conclusion without mansplaining to her that only morons would prefer naturals).

Some women would honestly prefer a 0.5-1.0ct natural vs a 2.5ct synthetic.

In any case, the ring is for her, so I'd recommend making sure she's on board with what you're thinking.

If you could find an independent jeweler(as opposed to chain jewelry store), I am sure they would.

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