What we do see is that when Ukraine or anyone else tramples their red lines (Finland, Sweden joining NATO) nothing happens.
If they dare hit us with something they do it regardless of what we're doing. Very hard to see how we get out of this short of the Putin regime falling.
At what point do you admit that you just don't understand Russia at all? Because if your understanding matched reality Russian people would have overthrown Putin two years ago, just like every Western newspaper and magazine said.
Basically what you are saying is: we keep escalating and they still haven't hit the big red button. Do you really think a decision to do that would come that easily? Why would it be done when unprovoked?
Lastly, this type of behavior - keep trying one's luck to see how far boundaries can be pushed - is what toddlers do. Maybe grow up?
You... have things completely backwards.
Russia does seem to be the one agitating and pushing boundaries, especially when former Soviet states elect more independently minded governments.