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I'd never say such a thing. Same way I'd never say "Well, yeah, he got his ass kicked, but look what he was wearing. He looked like homeless. Maybe if he wore something normal." I agree that justifying doing harm by what the victim wore is disgusting.

But if I wear homeless guys clothes to interview at the bank I might not get hired. I don't like it because I know that the things I wear have no impact on my skills as long as they are comfortable, but I won't be surprised by it. People judge people by their clothes.

I think that women if anything have easier time with that. Some of their clothes are really ridicules and still they are tolerated. Man wearing skirts or stockings would have trouble even asking what time it is.

You want to be perceived as gamer. Look like gamer. Or be ready to override your looks by strong character and/or language. Man value women gamers much more then men gamers but they have to believe that they actually met one.

> I am a proud, strong fighter and I have been a successful tech CEO for years.

I am honored with your response and sorry that I've upset you.

Gamers don't see themselves as most people. You have to positively identify with a subculture, otherwise you're part of the "majority" non-gamers.

Rape would be a lack of human decency. Treating someone as a non-gamer is treating them like a "normal" person.

> Treating someone as a non-gamer is treating them like a "normal" person.

How is assuming someone is incompetent because of their gender treating someone as "normal"? It's normal in the sense that such attitudes are prevalent, but it is a terrible way to treat anyone.

If you have an in-group or "clique", you just assume that most people aren't in it. You learn to identify fellow members of a subculture at a distance: clothes, hair, etc. The male-dominated environment of the expo caused the PR reps to mistakenly exclude women from their "gamer radar". Surely professional PR guys don't think pissing off a game reviewer is good for sales. In other words, the PR reps are also victims of the crappy environment.

Thanks, you've captured my thoughts absolutely. Some of the comments in this post make me really frustrated - it's almost a one step forward, two steps back type thing. Having to jump into the fray every time someone starts talking about the gender gap (and claiming it doesn't exist, or that all women have to do is just get more assertive/stop wearing sexy outfits/stop overreacting) does get very wearying - and it's really quite pathetic that we still have to do it.

Fashion tip. If you want to be recognized as gamer on sight wear these: http://www.gamevain.com/2012/03/daily-pic-gamer-girls-do-exi...

Notice lack of pink skirts or anything pink for that matter.

Or a gal gamer could show up dressed in pink and proceed to clean everyone's clock.

(Former gal gamer who sometimes wasn't taken seriously because I was "too pretty" or "just a mom", which was always a good opportunity to take advantage of some fool while his guard was down. The second game was always more challenging because they didn't make that mistake again.)

:-) That surprise people get when they realize they severely underestimated someone always strikes positive chord in my heart.

> "proceed to clean everyone's clock."

Rather than proceeding to stare at the screen until somebody takes away your keyboard and plays for you.

If you want to be perceived as a gamer, you can get away with not looking the look -- but you've got to show up ready to play.

You remind me of a time my youngest son was coaching me on Master of Magic. He told me to go into the town with a particular unit "...and wreck his shit".

That's a gamer attitude: Wreck his shit. If you aren't comfortable with it, then you are likely to have trouble with a gamer social environment.

I agree with a lot of what you have to say here, but:

> " as a man, you don't have to even think about whether what you choose to wear would suddenly get you treated as if you were a vapid teenager"

I'm a stay-at-home dad. On the rare occasions I'm able to leave my toddler home, I have to be careful about how I dress in order to avoid being treated as a vapid teenager or, worse, a creepy stalker.

More generally, men do have to worry about dressing in a way that identifies them as competent or fitting in to whatever subculture they're trying to fit in to.