Random example: the fuss about the facebook advertising/tracking SDKs back in the day. When apple started giving unique device IDs to each app, this cross-app tracking mesh imploded and they were screaming about lost revenue. Maybe you find billions of dollars worth of tracking to be creepy, maybe not. But if facebook had the option of getting that functionality and revenue back via an easy sideloading or some other frictionless alternative mechanism then the entire app ecosystem that was even remotely related to facebook tracking would have been off the app store in a heartbeat. Instead of being at the mercy of apple, you, and your extended tech-support family would have been at the mercy of facebook.
Apple is no angel, but the potential downsides are limitless. Instead of the facebook tracking example, consider partially or overtly malicious apps that your parents are now installing on their phones (as well as their malware-ridden PCs).
On the other hand, sideloading is a fairly low barrier for technically competent folks. Stuff like iResign and other tools have been around forever. You can grab any pirated/hacked/etc app package, sign it yourself, and sideload it via your dev credentials. But at least you don't have to worry about your parents doing that. Or facebook telling your parents to do that.
Anyway, that's a "for some reason" example. The readership of HN are not the target audience that the app store gatekeeping is there for.
(But don't get me started on fees/commissions/etc - that's indefensible IMO)