Look: my issue is that the kitty developer clearly thinks of himself as "God's gift to terminals". I pointed at one specific issue that I think is "telling" of an attitude of "I know better than everyone else", but I am not at all relying on that issue.
I just went through and started looking at recently closed issues on GitHub. I got through four before I found an example of what I think is the problem, and while this is a fairly benign one it is also clearly awkward enough that it shouldn't happen this often and is more than sufficient to clarify the complaint.
In this one, someone carefully points out an issue with a common script for emacs designed to implement the kitty-specific protocol (the one that kovid insisted everyone get on board with, as opposed to the prior art that already had traction, so now we have two competing ones; but that's my complaint, not the poster's).
https://github.com/kovidgoyal/kitty/issues/7711
Kovid then decides to pick a fight by being abrupt and a bit snarky in his response. Again: the issue was just technical and is good enough that I can probably debug the issue... I dream of getting bug reports like this, so this isn't the kind of response I would expect.
> I'm afraid I have zero interest in debugging emacs and kkp.el.
This is just downright mean-spirited. You can say something similar in a way that isn't grating in the same way, but Kovid prefers being grating, and clearly the person in the issue also took it this way and they get snarky back:
> If you aren't interested that's okay, of course.
> OTOH, I have zero interest in debugging Kitty. I'll just use Alacritty or iTerm :-)
Given Kovid's comment, I think this is in some sense a leveled response: Kovid is demonstrating he has little interest in being collaborative or helpful, even in an ecosystem that he created. I certainly don't act like that, even when people would use tools I actively disagreed with, I still would always help them debug it.
Kovid, of course, escalates this one further and leaves the thread in a pretty demoralizing place.
> Excellent! Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Damn :/. That is what I am talking about. He isn't just grating in the way Linus was grating -- though Linus, to be clear, was also an asshole who, at some point, started to realize just how much of a problem he was being and is a lot better today -- and I also don't think he is just grating in the way that people who moralize (I am guilty of this one) do... he's just kind of mean, even when it makes no sense, and the result is that many issue threads with him get this "edge" about them where everyone is slowly escalating the burn until they just drop out of the thread entirely for their mental health.
(Part of me actually wants to now debug this specific issue, but I'd be doing it out of spite, and I do not want to be dragged into that. I only commented on this at all as I didn't want the person further upthread of me to feel alone in commenting on the problem with Kovid, and so I think it is reasonable that I get some of the flak here as I'm willing to bring the receipts.)
So, no: I simply don't think it is fair to say I am being dishonest, and the specific thing you quoted from me about him not liking settings is obviously not the point and wasn't something I delved into, as it didn't matter why: the issue was how... FWIW, in a thread where a bunch of people are all agreeing that Kovid turned them away from using kitty, maybe at least some of us have a point?