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Comment by jowday | Hacker News Reader

Dude your kid is fine. He’s going to a top tier college for his program and making a B average after his first year. Maybe he’s playing too much Roblox? Is he happy, healthy? Does he have a social life? If so, not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. I don’t even check the GPA of new grads I hire.

Edit: If it’s any consolation, I did know people who were truly addicted to gaming in college. They couldn’t manage their time and were on academic probation by the end of freshman year. Slept through multiple finals because they were up late playing league of legends. Never got any internships. Your kid doesn’t sound like the people I knew who really couldn’t manage their time. Also, Freshman year is generally academically the rockiest. A 3.0 is fine. The kids I knew who really couldn’t cut it were failing by the end of their first semester. And this is at a far less competitive program than where your kid is at.

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It is also possible that the son may not really like CS as a subject and is using gaming to cope. I struggled to get above 3.0 in CS at a non-top school for CS but when I switched to a subject I liked (Economics) I was able to get almost straight As in undergrad, work as a RA in my last year, and get into a top 20 PhD program and succeed in that program.

Yeah, personally I think a lack of IRL socialization would be a much bigger concern than a 3.0 GPA from a tier 1.

Socialization is great, but too much socialization can be bad, too.

I didn't have enough alone time as a kid. I cannot exist alone.

I was always connected to the internet, so I would always be talking or interacting with someone. Always. I seemingly was not able to develop basic things that my brain should be able to do when alone, because I did not spend any time alone in order to develop them.

Now I can't do anything on my own unless I make it into a social thing. Some things by their very nature cannot be social things; I simply cannot do those things.

For example, I can't imagine things to myself. I can imagine things to describe to someone else, but I can't imagine things to myself. I can't entertain myself, either. Even watching videos or media, I have to also be talking to someone at the same time or I just get bored.

My only fulfillment comes from people. My happiness comes from making other people happy. My entertainment comes from entertaining other people. My imagination comes from depicting things to other people. My identity comes from showing other people.

But to myself, without anyone else, I do not exist.

I don't think any of those issues are commonly associated with, or attributable to, being a well-socialized young adult.

Eh. There is a hole in me where "creativity" would normally be, because I would always just tell it to people instead of actually depicting it anywhere. As a result, it only really exists to be told to other people now.

Not sure if I'd call that "well-socialized" or "codependent". (although I guess codependence is usually on a specific other person rather than just people in general...)

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