> That works in your situation, but not for most people who don't want to have to maintain a moving part. Also hosting in general on a residential connection can depend on the provider and even availability of good internet.
Frankly, that works for the majority of XMPP users -- let's not forget about that. But yes, this is a problem today for many consumers. However, I see this as a much better direction for the Internet as a whole to take -- see efforts such as ownCloud and the like -- , rather than just conceding defeat and accepting a centralized Internet, or worse: the extremely dangerous idea that centralization increases security. Which should only be seen as the non-sense it is.
> It's a lot easier than simply not having that data server side in the first place like Signal for example.
You still do not get the point here at all. This is not about storage. This is not about the server implementation. As long as there is a communication at all between me and the server and then my contacts and the server, it is irrelevant if you are storing the roster or not. ANYONE (*anyone with access to that server) can easily pick it up. In fact, it is HARD not to leak it up, even by accident. Barring a P2P Freenet-like thing, this is _unavoidable_. (and even with P2P/Freenet/Onion/whatever it's not trivial) And due to the nature of IMs, metadata is practically as big an issue than protecting the payload itself.