> Java is generally fine enough, but it's a little annoying when I have to do whacky workarounds with wrapper classes to get something that would be done in three lines

This is a weird take, given that Java has had ADTs for years

Records https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Java_version_history#Java_16

Sealed classes https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Java_version_history#Java_17

And pattern matching for almost a year https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Java_version_history#Java_21

Otherwise big agree on how delightful to work with F# is.