Why shouldn’t neurodivergent people get special treatment if they have a disorder/issue? Seems like accommodations should be made to promote inclusion.
Saying, "they are allowed to be assholes because they are neurodiverse" does nothing to help the neurodiverse person, and creates a stigma.
I'm autistic. I constantly tell myself, "being autistic is not an excuse for being an asshhole. I have to work harder to not be an asshole, but I can learn it ".
But there is a clear difference between allowing a bit of leeway to break decorum and allowing one to be a massive asshole.
I think there is a balance, like everything in life.
Certainly there is no attempt to justify that talking about whatever issue is inappropriate, and certainly there is no attempt to connect such justification to the Code of Conduct. (Please ctrl-F that Code of Conduct - https://policies.python.org/python.org/code-of-conduct/ - for any mention of "reverse sexism" or "reverse racism", for example. Or try to find the part that explains how typing "XXXX" and giving hints about what specific naughty word it stands for, in the context of relating a story about taking action to block a PyPI package given that name, is verboten.)
With respect, I don't think you actually have to work harder. The onus should be on others to recognize that you genuinely aren't being an asshole just because you, e.g., said something that makes them uncomfortable or challenges their worldview. Certainly they should be expected to recognize that, if you appear to understand emoji differently from how they do, perhaps it would be kinder for them to try to figure out how you're understanding them, rather than objecting to how you use them based on that understanding. But that is not a courtesy that was extended to Mr. Peters (nor to myself), as far as I can see.