This reminded me of an idea I had a few years ago: randomly delayed messaging. There should be some utility (Facebook app, whatever) that sends messages that take anywhere from 3 to 7 days.
The idea is that you won't know for sure when the recipient will get the message, so you don't actively expect their response.
Likewise if you get a message, you can reply directly and it will still feel casual, or reply later and nobody will feel ignored.