Venting Doesn't Reduce Anger, but Something Else Does, Study Says
sciencealert.com
sciencealert.com
> Venting Doesn't Reduce Anger, but Reducing Physiological Arousal Does, Study Says
> Calming activities reduced anger in the lab and the field, they found, and across other variables like methods of instruction or participant demographics. Effective arousal-reducing activities included slow-flow yoga, mindfulness, progressive muscle relaxation, diaphragmatic breathing, and taking a timeout.
I have definitely started ruminating and regretting so many choices — previously I used to take to stoicism but even that is not being effective. Maybe I’m now ruminating, but I just can’t imagine being calm about the whole situation. Venting hasn’t helped, and typing this message has just made me angrier. Maybe I should try being calm… but at least I’m able to channel my anger, not so sure about channeling the calm :(
Whenever I've pointed out the issues with catharsis within my own immediate group (friends/family) I'm confronted with one of two viewpoints: a) my 'understanding of psychology is faulty, of course venting works", or b) "right, I should try mindfulness as a solution to my anger", where those in group A) are usually also quite narcissistic and borderline, and group B) more self-reflective/aware.
Of course backing off and using more concrete language, you could describe the same thing as "using a tantrum to intimidate someone into submission." Something people rarely do with their social equals, so generally children, maybe spouses. A lot of men describe their outbursts as calming in this context. They're possibly right, if you focus very narrowly on their own experience of it.
The other half of the solution is to short-circuit anger, prevent it from even happening.
When Anger Hurts https://www.amazon.com/When-Anger-Hurts-Quieting-Within/dp/1...
TLDR: expectations -> disappointment -> resentment -> blaming -> anger
So the trick is to change your expectations. Not eliminate or lower, exactly. But figuring out how to have realistic expectations. Which stops the anger cascade before it can start.
YMMV. Good luck.