Do software engineers/indie developers get offended in the same way?
But even when someone -- particularly an outsider -- proposes an idea that is "stupid", there's usually value there. What they're really doing is pointing out a pain point they're actually having. Their proposed solution may not be viable for any number of reasons, but the problem they're trying to solve is usually real.
The value is that a pain point has been revealed.
(Patient then said 'ooh well done' apparently, so this was perhaps more a case of condescension & distrust towards a young/female doctor than interested outsider offering ideas, but still your comment reminded me of the story. It was something obscure and internal too, a completely ridiculous thing for a (non-medico) patient to have an opinion about, not something visible like a spot or bruising you could kind of understand the temptation to disagree about.)
The most fun idea pitch I had was when someone pitched a solution to me which was something I actually have a patent on. So like seconds into the pitch, I'm like 'oh yeah, I have a patent for that; we tried it, it didn't work' that made my day and continues to provide me amusement for many years. Although, there is a company that commercialized it, so clearly I missed something or tried it at the wrong time / with the wrong platform or the wrong group of users.
But if you have an idea, and you won't shut up about it, even when I tell you the problems with it, and you keep going as if you're the one who knows how it is, when you actually don't what you're talking about... I get impatient fairly quickly in that situation. If you listen, sure, I'll explain. If you will only talk and not listen, well, we're done as soon as I can gracefully end the conversation. If you won't stop when I try, the conversation ends more abruptly and less gracefully.
Sure, I agree, but that isn't an issue with "outsider" vs "insider". That sort of thing can happen with anyone and whether you're in the business or not doesn't change how annoying it is.
We have gotten more tolerant and versatile as a whole no doubt, though highly opinionated still lurks beneath our surfaces.
As for this phenomenon directly, there is also the tendency for an outsider to pick up on and point out characteristics which an insider (overly familiar with their own work) might overlook.
This outsider effect is real and may offend the sensitive. For some emotional intelligence takes time to respond.
No, I don't get offended. Their ideas are often fatally flawed or "not even wrong" (idiom that means the idea approaches the nonsensical). Or their ideas are great and have already been implemented in contexts which make sense.
I find my field very interesting and fun to talk about, so I don't mind it at all. Thoughtful people seem pleased if you give them consideration and talk through what conditions would need to exist to make their idea viable.
One thing that I find happens more often is that if I've been asked to look into something (that I know very well), I'll be doing that and the person will keep interrupting and derailing the process as I try to do what needs to be done and carry on a conversation to indicate why their input is not helpful/useful. If it gets really bad, I'll just stop and resume later. Maybe over time if they really want things fixed they'll let it proceed smoothly in one go.
I do think that it is a character trait in a lot of people that after they have built up domain expertise, it is a threat to their ego if someone else starts ideating in their domain.
I like hearing different thoughts so that I can try and get in the user's headspace to see what they are running into and try and develop a new process.
I've always been open to new thoughts and critiques (this is always a difficulty with most people as most people who take critiques take them as a jab/insult to the person and not the issue/problem at hand).
Going to an Art school and getting broken with critiques made me understand their view more. As well as having proper dialogue back with the person making the critique works wonders. Emotion is a tricky thing to tamp down and to be level headed.
I don't think that's at all what they're saying.
Most of the times, they have no clue that 'their' idea has been around for more than a decade.
They ask, why is it not available then?
In most cases they would not even have done a simple Internet search to see what already exists. In a few cases, I performed a live search before them and found that there's already an app for that.
When a product/service with the idea is not ready-to-buy, they would not know that there are some specific problems in the way (while I would). Far from having a solution to those problems, they would not even have the background to understand those problems. I tell them I am happy to explain but I would need an hour. Sigh, they do not have that, and openly know and admit that they would not be able to understand anyways.
They often do not understand that sometimes products or services are missing not because the technology cannot do, but because the cost of making under the state of the art is much higher than the anticipated selling price. I ask them how much you would be willing to pay for the product and there's no answer. I sometimes invite them to join me as the business partner and help obtain VC funding; their follow-ups with me are non-existent.
Their magical initial expectation from me is that I should build it, as after all I am "the best tech person they know". And what reason they then have to believe I am not already familiar with the idea, and the entire space around it, for the last ten years? Some answer that I would not know as "creativity" is a different skill than engineering. Some tell me the same for their wisdom vs. the science guru they know me as.
If someone does indeed have a good idea that I hadn't thought of before, I most honestly admit. All the more so when the idea obvious in hindsight.
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XKCD: https://xkcd.com/1425/
Replace "Sure, easy GIS Lookup. Gimme a few hours" by "Gimme a second. Oh there! You can download from app store. These seem like three popular apps for you to try!"