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Clearly we need a team game where you can control the economy and I can control the armies. And if we start to lose we can curse and blame each other.

You can do this is Beyond All Reason - which is the best RTS I've played in years even though it's free/beta.

Even better. It's open-source. I've contributed a few small bug fixes myself.

thankfully, the genre has been dissected so there are games like revolution that focus on the warring armies aspect, and games like sim city that focus on the building aspect. and then there are factory games, which is a whole genre unto itself.

The factory must grow.

Sim City is older than RTS, or at least older than the genre defining RTS of Dune 2. Herzog Zwei release at about the same time as Sim City, and definitely didn't have any influence on it.

Did you ever play settlers? I loved building the towns.

Settlers of catan?

Weirdly enough, I’ve never played it

Probably this one or one of its successors: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Settlers_II

That’s the one