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Sucking it's a reflex; the rest it's pseudoscience. Your personal anecdothes don't count.

That doesn't negate the fact that newborns have a suckling reflex.

Having a reflex and breastfeeding are two different things. The baby can have the reflex, but the mother has no milk or the latching technique is poor (as mentioned elsewhere in these comments). So the child not breastfeeding doesn't mean there is no reflex. And yes, the process can be painful and stressful to many mothers most especially first timers (experience also counts).